A, you’ve lived A privileged life. The Alpha is always in front, asserting dominance. You're the first name called in roll while all others wait nervously, wondering if their names will be there when reached. The sooner you recognize how the other letters have sacrificed for you, the better off we’ll be.
B, I don’t know why you are in doubt or how you got into debt, but I believe in you, B. You can do it. We need you to make everything better. You’re essential to my being.
C, we love you in cake and cookies, but we're not sure why you start cancer and corrosion. And what's up with you I and E? Why do they change positions when they come after you, C? Do you have issues with I?
D, we double down on you. You do not deceive. You do not deny. You are not deranged. We can always count on you to make your D sound. D is also for Dad. I miss you Dad. Thank you for everything. I'm in school again. I think you'd be proud.
E, wE usE you a lot. Without you, wE would not havE Ethics or EnErgy. WE could not Eat; wE could not hEar. LifE is bEttEr with you E, and wE won’t Ever forgEt.
F, without you, many of our favorite swear words would fail. How would we express our fury or flabbergast without the F-word and all of its crude, expressive variations? Without F, we’d be stuck with a lot of s&@t.
G, you're a hard letter to find. But it's worth the search because you make good possible. For that, we're forever grateful. G is for Gabriel, the angel and Peter. We need G for greatness. G is also for gin, and we need gin to make a Martini, not Vodka. By the way, a Martini should be stirred. Shaking will make it cloudy.
H gives us help and support. We wouldn't have anything without H. How would we hold on without you, H? We wouldn't have heroes. When things get too heavy, and we feel like giving up, H lends us a hand.
I, where would I be without you? Try though I might to be objective and impartial, I can’t get past I. I can only see from your perspective, so I will try to be fair.
J, Without J, I would not have my Julie. J is for Jujitsu, which changed my life. J makes joy possible. Upside down J helps us walk when we get old or are injured. J is judicious and it strives to give us justice even if it's hard to find.
We watched a documentary on advertising in Comm 370. I learned the two words almost everyone in the world knows, regardless of language are OK—okay—and Coca Cola. If we didn't have K, the world would only have Coca Cola, and I don't drink soda anymore.
L lets Nick Cave "Let Love In," and L starts Life. Love may not be all we need, but life is better for it. L also lets us get lost, and we need that from time to time. Sometimes, L gives even gives us a place to sit down.
M is for Mom. Mother. Mine. I love you. We need M to make a Martini, king of the cocktails. M makes movement. M makes movies. M makes more, which we always want.
N is for no. We prefer yes, but without no, yes wouldn't matter. Is that all I have for N? Yes.
O is half of OK—okay—one of the two most well known words in the world. O also helps us make an Old Fashioned, the first cocktail I ever made my own. Cheers to you O!
P move lots of air with its percussive pop, pop, pops. P is the beginning of all possibilities. In England, it gives them pigeon pie with prunes, in Italy, parmesan and prosciutto and in delis pastrami and pickles.
Q is in Qi, energetic lifeforce. Where the consciousness goes Qi follows. Where the Qi goes, the blood follows. Q is among the quirkiest and the quietest. Still waters run deep. Q is a deep thinker.
R you’re a rabble rouser. R rolls like no other letter. You’re the king of rock ‘n’ roll, of reggae and Aretha Franklin’s “Rock Steady.” What a groove! You’ve also been known to start many a romance. You’re a sly one R.
S, you are the slipperiest of letters. With all of your curves, you slide off the tongue. You're slick! You make us salivate and swoon. Without you, we would not have Shakespeare or “Synecdoche, New York.”
T, in your lower case, you are a religious icon. This cannot be easy. It’s a big responsibility, but we all have our crosses to bear.
U are a symbol of good luck. You shapes provides a vessel to hold water, which quenches our thirst, and supports life. Without U, we might not know who we are.
V, virtues reside in the valley of the V between two extremes. One arm of V is too much. The other is too little. The gravity of virtue concentrates in the center.
W, without W, there would be too many unanswered questions. W leads to knowing, to knowledge, to democracy and journalism. Knowing would not be possible without W. Never would never know: Who? What? When? Where? or Why? Or W? Or W?
X are many. Are you the source of this fear? These feelings? Is it you who fills me with existential dread? Or is this the wrong question? Perhaps it’s not X who makes us fear death? Or does X make existence possible.
Y, why are you the question kids most love to ask? Y is the end the LY words, helping us to describe things. And you begin the opposite to my I. Y oh Y did my second to last go?
Z, oh Z, we feel for you Z. Forever sad. Forever last. Waiting to be called after all others. Z is S's stiff, uptight cousin. While Z sometimes sounds similar, Z is always ridged, and unable to bend, stretch or slide like that wild S. Instead, Z is all points and lines, getting caught trying to run in the grass. Others are always passing by, Z.